I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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