Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
