is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
