So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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