Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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