If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
