Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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