Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
