Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Can Purell be used as lube?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
