Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
