Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize