Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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