Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
