Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
