He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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