I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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