Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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