I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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