Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
