Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
