What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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