As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
