Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
