she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
