so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
