From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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