How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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