I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My penis needs a shock collar
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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