K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
