I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize