I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
