I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize