If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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