Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
