and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
