so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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