I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
