I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
