Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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