I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
