he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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