Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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