I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
