i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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