i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
