I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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