Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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