It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
