spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
