I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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