if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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