your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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