I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
