Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
