would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think i have herpe
just one?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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