So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My vagina just recognized that song.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
