Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
