I am puke
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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