the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
