But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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