Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
