when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
