: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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